Saturday 2 June 2012

Dynamism of Relationship


To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.  ~Doménico Cieri Estrada



The dynamism of relationships through out our life is a very constant phenomenon. Any relationship when it starts at any juncture of life has its own inherent value. Provided the people involved in the relationship has the mind to understand the depth. People here on earth live through their relative relationships only. Relationships are relative as every individual relationship has different meaning even to the peoples involved in it. For instance, in a marital relationship the two individuals may be of same temperament (very rare or almost impossible as two individuals are never alike) or may be of different temperament which is very common. So the relationship itself retains different level of need/understanding for the main two people involved in it. Likewise in other relationship the same thing applies. The need, age factor, understanding, dependency, depth, individual space, feelings, maturity etc may be of different expectations and level for the people involved in the relationship.
There are many perspectives of relationships. Relationships used to be of different value in the past or for our senior people.  Earlier whole aspect of any relationship used to be different. The factors on which the foundation of any relationship based used to be unlike present preconditions. The educational background used to differ with the financial expectations in the past. The earning capacity, family type, social environment, economic condition etc used to be much simple and easier compared to present cut throat competitive world. The joint family system used to be the reason of many benefits which today’s nuclear family system don’t provide. There used to be much stronger emotional bonding between the family members as well as social system compared to present world. Basically relationships used to be deep rooted earlier compared to the present time.
There are positive and negative sides if we compare the earlier state of relationships and present state. Earlier the divorces, live-in-togethers, crèches, old age homes etc used to be lesser compared to present time. Now these all are very common. There are many positive sides like higher women literacy ratio with service holder as well as women professionals are in higher trend. But the economic independence is also one of the many reasons of countless negative effects like the rise in divorces etc. Divorce affects the concerned family, spouses and if there are children then its worse. Now there is hardly any sector of profession/occupation which is left to the men alone. But the crime ratio is also alarmingly in higher trend.
Any relationship for matter of fact goes through a tremendous change process with time and this does not matter whether it is needed by the persons concerned or not. But this change process in all kinds of relationship is kind of a default setting or set in auto mode to be specific. It does not depend on the willingness of the people concerned in the relation. We all experience the change in the relationship with our own parents from the time we used to be babies then kid then the time we are gown up people. First we are dependent on our parents and then one time comes when they become dependent on us. So this is a very clear cycle of the particular parent –children relationship. But there is always a change cycle in every relationship. With time as the maturity level of people grows up the level and depth of relationship should also grow. Some times maturity and in-dependency/dependency factor may lead to distances or closeness in relationships as people involved may realize that their priority and choice is different. Lucky are those people in a relationship who has the same level of mental temperament.
The dynamic attribute of any relationship may be a source of appeal even for the relationship itself. A predictable and monotonous manner in any kind of relationship may lead to distances to the people concerned. But a warm and positive random approach in any relationship leads to a strong bond therein for the individuals. Little surprises, expressions, emotions can lead to a sea change in all kind of relationship. Many a times people do not express the depth and meaning of a relationship in their life for some silly reason like ego, self-esteem etc. But when the particular relationship goes through a difficult phase then only the negative value of all egos, anger, self-esteem etc is felt but then sometimes it may be too late to realize the mistake.
So when we are in a relationship we must value the depth and positive influence of it in our life. Everybody plays different role of daughter, mother, sister, wife, friend, Aunty, Student, teacher etc in case of Women and husband, son, brother, friend, Uncle etc in case of Men. There may be numerous relationships maintained by the same person to different people and the value of each may differ. But one should try to prioritize the value of relationship and act accordingly for a more simple and meaningful life. One should always remember that it is very easy to break a relationship but it’s hard to retain the same. It’s easy to build a new relationship but too difficult to restore a broken relationship. So before breaking a relationship one should think the value of it in life and should put hundred percent efforts to retain it as PEOPLE LIVES ONLY THROUGH RELATIONSHIP in this world. A dead person also lives in this world through the memory of the family/relatives/friends long after the death. A warm and affectionate relationship goes a long way.
So the enthusiasm of every relationship we have should strengthen us for the most colorful days on this beautiful world. The natural relationship like our immediate family which we do not choose should also be cherished as added warmth makes a lot of difference to make life more beautiful. Some times a negative incidence makes us aware the value of relationship more then any positive time. To extract the positive out of negative situation is the secret of strength in the dynamism of relationship. 
The clandestine magic of any relationship is the zing of life which if understood is the main essence to live on. People who can keep up to the dynamics of any relationship itself for them, world as well as life as a whole is easier and much exciting to enjoy. Let us enjoy our relationship more to live more even after our death……!!!!!!

Friday 4 May 2012

Hide and seek !!!!!!!!! - a poem




Silence within is leisurely flowing deep,
and will you see how it is whipping my sleep?
Noise of the silence is really a nightmare,
and will you dare to feel how much I care?
My shadow talks alone to the silence…….
About the noise and the sleepless night,
The distant horizon is a jade credence…..
about the returning birds after the twilight.
Some songs are singing…
for tonight….,
for thy noise of silence is so silent.
As morning crept in….
I became busy,
In futile effort to look for thy shadow.
……………………………….
……………………………….
I, Me and myself
Are the best of friends……..,
And they are playing hide and seek
In the orbit of SILENCE.
…………………………………
There is only the shadow of emptiness!!!!

Wednesday 2 May 2012

Those days and these days!





Those were the days when we were kids and running around the roads aimlessly. We used to be busy with our friends, family and other activities. It’s almost a fairy tale since the time we can count our memories. The childhood days are always better compared to the grown-up or matured times. Childhood days are the time when we live in almost a world of dream.
The first memories are always of our direct family. We start walking and talking and observe the surrounding with all possible sagacity to perceive our foundation. Thus we start learning our mother tongue and imbibe the cultural and social values in our system. I still remember the fond memories of my very early childhood in a place called Digboi – the first oil refinery in Asia (a description about my home town is already complied in another article – The Reminisce of British Aura).
The very first memories are always of some winter mornings in Digboi. Then I really hated to get up so early as my Grand – ma (I used to call her Aita-Ma) calls me very tenderly to get up and go to kitchen for morning glass of milk. I remember that, I used to act like I am in heavy sleep in those mornings in the extreme cold winters under the heavy red quilt with white ‘markin’ cover around it. Oh how much I miss those heavy quilts swathed with the warmth of my grand-ma’s love and care! Those heavy quilts used to be very common things in every household that time. In the winter sun during day time I vividly remember, the way those heavy quilts were being spread in our courtyard to get warmer in the cane chairs so that we feel more warmth in the chilling nights. My grand ma used to shout the servants several times during the day to turn around the quilts so that whole thing gets quite warm under the sun. By the time I used to arrive from school around noon those quilts were all warm and ready to be cuddled in. 


The meals cooked by Grand – Ma were simply most testy foods I ever ate. I remember having all those delicious dishes cooked by my Grand – Ma and some times sensation became so strong that I almost taste the same. Sometimes memory becomes stronger then reality and those testes of PAST waters my mouth now also. I really repent a lot for being so finicky about my food that time. I lost a great chance of testing so many dishes cooked by her. She was really partial in my case as I was the first grand child and she used to spoil me a lot. I used to get everything whatever was my favorite that time for example, Kheer, home made yogurt with traditional jolpaan(Snacks item) of bora chawal (kind of indigenous sticky rice), Chicken curry with black pepper, kothal ( jackfruit) juice with muri, narikol (coconut) ladu, Masor tenga (fish curry) many types of pickles and thus the list goes on and on.
After a delicious lunch it used to be strict siesta time for me. I used to sleep with my sweet Aunts….they are two …Biju pi and Moon pi – I used to call them. They are my father’s younger sisters. During day time I used to sleep with them and during night it’s my time with my lovely Granny- Aita Ma. Moon pi (the youngest Aunt) used to work outside and she used to visit us every weekend.  My favorite season is winter that’s why may be mostly I remember the sweet winter days from those golden days. The warmth of those heavy quilts fresh from the sun is something I miss so much. It’s sure whoever had tested that, will sure remember those moments again. My Biju Pi used to tell me all very interesting stories which I still cherish. After those stories there used to be the enticing world of wish full dreams for me! Further I remember the warmth of the quilt and the cuddle of my Biju Pi. Whenever Moon Pi used to be in home for weekend visit it used to be some different kind of stories. She used to describe her travel stories as she used to travel around the country for her work and those used to amuse my little mind so much that time
It is the warmth of those young times that shapes one’s future. The tenderness of families is what builds our ingrained characteristics and the feel of secured upbringing. But current nuclear families are a different story altogether. Really I wish if only I could have had some kind of device to infuse my son to that time to be brought up by my Aunt’s and Aita Ma (Granny) to be strong enough to face the future world. Yes this is a much weird thought, I am sure about.
The red colour quilt with the white markin cloth cover is one warm memory which is also a part of our lost childhood. The white markin cloth was used also for a particular reason. These markin clothes used to add the extra warmth and smoothness to the otherwise little rough quilt. With our childhood the red quilt also seems to be lost. Those families who still have it around are very lucky to still have the past immersed in their present. I think those are lucky families to be still rooted in their originality quite strongly.
So if we think it rationally, even the most ordinary and common quilts can be a basis of so much wistfulness and warm feelings that one would feel like reviewing the time. But past is always past. Some wise people consider its better to leave behind the past and to focus on future. But if we neglect our past then future may be baseless. A warm and rooted past can be a source of strong and beautiful future. Quilts may be an example of many such sources of infinite memories which built our present. Others may have different things which they may relate to with their childhood nostalgia. It is mainly the warm and strong bond which actually matters more then the feeling/thing itself.
Long live those memories of lost days in the folds of the warm quilts…..!

Friday 27 April 2012

Feelings, words and sun etc…!


A page has been dropped…
In the chronicle of life…
It has been turned from right to left,
A day has been ceased…
In the calendar of time….
It has been overlapped into depth.
…………………………………
A day without you….
A date without clue…..
Words are flowing with feelings
Feelings of eternal longings.
…………………………………
…………………………………..
Let the feelings fly
To the sky so high…..
And you are walking into the rhyme!
…………………………….
One day will come…
You will be again mine.
A sun will rise tomorrow another time!

Wednesday 25 April 2012

Cloud nine.................(a poem)


Each day I remember you in my tears
Earlier you used to be my smile,
Each day I wait to be lifeless
Earlier you used to be my life.
How long to end this road?
Will you be there at the end?
How many tears to reckon?
Will you be there if I beckon?
………………………………………
I will wait for you…..
Till the end of time…
Till the end life…
Till the end of tears…!
……………………………………..
Then I will smile
With you…
when you will hold my hand……
and take me to heaven!
………………………………………
We will walk in the morning shine….
Till the end of the sky.
……………………………………….
A new heaven is there….
I know in my heart….
You will come back to me
As you are my heaven.

Wednesday 18 April 2012

Raindrops….a poem!!!!!


Such a pure weather…...serene and exotic;
silver raindrops…
against my face…,
trickling down my hair….,
around my fingers….,
they hold my hand and took me for an odyssey….
…an odyssey…...so nostalgic…..!
...somehow....;
my mind is walking alone ...
in forgotten boulevard of those golden days.....
...... when death was my shadow...!
if you still remember…….
our escapades in the silver rains...,
if your heart still pine for those moments….
…………………………………………………………….
……Then you are again invited ....!
Oh’ my futile effort to catch the sands in my hand…
it’s a gift in itself….
The feel so real….of those long walks together…
There was no shadow…following us in the rains…!
I was in love with death.
It was raining when I died… and now also it is RAINING…!

Tuesday 17 April 2012

When world comes to an end …! - a poem


Breathing is an effort
Smile is pretend,
Words are irrelevant
Life itself is so vacant.
……………………………
When world comes to an end…,
Every dawn befall such a load!
Another journey starts to fake
Till the date ends,
It’s the tragedy of being alive
Among the dead.
……………………………..
When world comes to an end…,
Every feat befits such wasted!
Hollow deeds have to be woven
Till the end of time,
It’s the comedy of the sweat
With empty rhyme.
……………………………..
When world comes to an end…,
Every question crafts such a conceit.
Sense with no essence has to be felt
Till the death of being,
It’s the loyalty of the intruder
For the pity.
………………………………
When world comes to an end…,
Life proffers me adieu.
Tears with blush has to be giggled
Till the loss of faith,
It’s the royalty of love
For the death. 
…………………………..
When world comes to an end…,
My heart averts to sense you.
A life ended with so much passion,
Some tears are still waiting for a new sun.
If only there would have been a sky  !!!!!!!